The First American Woman Spaceflight Commander Tells Her Story
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Through the Glass Ceiling to the Stars: The Story of the First American Woman to Command a Space Mission, Eileen Collins with Jonathan Ward, 2021.
It’s always fascinating to read about events you were there for, and this book sparked many memories. Most vividly, it took me back to the summer of 1999, when the author launched into orbit as the first woman to command an American space mission. Eileen Collins had invited women from every era of aerospace history to her launch – including the WASPs, the WACs, and the women pilots nicknamed the “Mercury 13.” One of the 13, Wally Funk, had in turn invited me. Eileen’s launch fell on the thirtieth anniversary of Apollo 11’s moon mission. As Wally and I walked on the beach, and were later taken right up to the base of the launch pad where shuttle Columbia was poised to fly, we looked at the moon high in the sky and marveled at how far things had come. Wally had dearly wished to fly in space back in the 1960s. Now it was happening – a woman was in control – but Wally was not one to look back at missed opportunities for herself. All she could talk about was her pride in Eileen.
We were invited to a private pre-launch family party at a hotel near the Cape. These parties were always hosted by the shuttle commander’s spouse. For the first time ever, a husband organized it, which felt historic in itself. Watching Eileen’s pre-school daughter playing with the guests, I spotted figures from aviation history, dressed as demure grandmothers but as raucous a bunch of partygoers as you can imagine. I could easily imagine these trailblazing women back in the 1940s, never taking no for an answer, carving out aviation careers despite doors being closed in their faces. It was therefore no surprise that, after two launch scrubs over the following days, these women were far from gloomy. Instead, they were goading our NASA driver to race and overtake the NASA Administrator’s bus, making the most of life despite the setbacks. They were ready for the third time to be the charm – and it was. After 38 years of waiting for a woman to command, a few days more was no big deal.
In short, Eileen Collins flying the shuttle was a big deal, and the culmination of decades of pent-up wishes. Her book brought it all back to me – what a momentous, headline-grabbing time this was.
With the assistance of Jonathan Ward, best known for his incredibly moving book about the shuttle Columbia tragedy, Eileen Collins has finally written the book people have been wanting from her. It’s a fascinating journey, as she literally puts the reader in the driver’s seat from page one as we rocket into space.
We learn of Eileen’s stressful early life, growing up on welfare in a fractured family with an alcoholic father, fighting a stutter, excluded from school cliques and frequently bullied. With a mother struggling with mental illness, it seems Eileen brought her siblings up solo. Her chance to live her own life took form in a long-held love of airplanes. Her deep love of flying comes across on every page, as we learn how invested she became in the precision and dedication needed. It’s rare for a book to pull us so tightly into a passion for something we may never do ourselves, but we experience it here.
While serving in the Air Force, we not only learn of Eileen’s remarkable career flying into combat zones at a time when women were technically excluded from doing so, but we also come to understand what is driving her. It’s something I have seen in many “firsts” in life – a confidence to ask for the next career step to be granted when it has been thoroughly earned. Working toward her goals, Eileen is never brash, never arrogant, but nevertheless has a strong belief that when she has shown what she is capable of, she should be allowed to advance. Her journey is fascinating all the more because of a grounding of humility. She never expects anything – she just does it. Despite sharing frustration with numerous obstinate regulations in her path, it seems she is the kind of person who turns setbacks to advantages. Many times in this book, when turned down for a posting or an opportunity to fly a certain jet, she explains how it led to a different, unexpected experience that allowed her to learn something new. She absorbs the nuts and bolts of every vehicle she encounters with keen curiosity, so no twist in her career path is ever wasted.
Is there anything left to say about the space experience after hundreds of people have flown in orbit and dozens have written books? It turns out there is. I don’t recall ever gaining such a sense of the busy time immediately after a shuttle reaches orbit, balanced with trying to quickly become familiar with the space experience for the first time. The view of Earth, with the “strange rainbow” of the horizon, also feels freshly and vividly described.
It is intriguing to see someone so thoroughly invested in self-examination as part of the responsibilities of command. Eileen is very honest about moments when she had to call a timeout on her shuttle crew and get critical work back under control. She’s never afraid to call herself out on things she could have done better, and it’s a valuable lesson for the reader to see this constant sense of self-improvement.
This is the Eileen I have experienced talking to in person. You bring your best self to the conversation, because when her eyes lock on you, she is listening intently, and you want to make your words worthwhile. But it’s not intimidating, because she’s open to new ideas – although your opinions are being assessed, you’re not being judged. I can imagine how well this translated into the leadership skills needed to command missions in a multi-billion dollar program where national pride was at stake.
Eileen brings the same self-examination to the entire shuttle program following the Columbia tragedy, and so it is little surprise when she is granted the responsibility of commanding the next flight, returning America to space. We learn of the true complexity and fragility of the shuttle, and the effort that went into heading back into orbit.
As one of the most self-aware authors I have ever read, Eileen explains the strange balance between knowing you’ve earned your place as a “first,” being hyper-aware of anyone trying to over-smooth the path ahead, and knowing your every action will be judged like few before you. Get something wrong, and your first may also be a last. It’s something I recall when working for Sally Ride, who navigated the same path. Eileen’s deft and tactful handling of many related issues shows why she was chosen for the role – by the same people who chose Sally decades before.
There are life lessons in here, career advice, and remarkable experiences (how many people get to fly a spacecraft to two different space stations?). What lingered with me most was something I don’t recall any other spacefarer describing – a decade after her first mission, Eileen returns from her fourth feeling the physical toll space has taken, and says to herself, “Enough.” It’s like a prizefighter retiring at the top of their game, knowing they have proved everything they need to prove to themselves. It’s sincerity such as this that will have me pondering life lessons from this book for a long time.